If you are a parent, chances are that you have looked something up on the internet to see if it is “normal” or if there anything you can do about what ever is happening, or just to commiserate.
During your journey on the internet, you probably came across something that made you feel guilty. For some reason, there is a ton of “mompetition” on the internet and I don’t believe it should be that way.
Just today, I was reading some article about parenting and the comments afterwards to each other were very biting and angry.
There are no perfect kids, and there are no perfect parents and that’s OK.
I wanted to be the perfect parent. I read all the books, I have a background working with young children and families and I figured, if anyone can do it, I can do it.
One of the philosophies I wanted to follow was attachment parenting because of all the research supporting it, and because it matched my beliefs.
Then I had twins and realized that carrying both of my children into toddlerhood wasn’t going to happen. And the guilt that I suffered from this was not fun. I tried carrying one child and putting the other one in the stroller or bouncy chair. I tried carrying both of them some of the time.
Then I would give it up for a while due to the exhaustion of trying to carry two babies. But lo and behold, after a week of not holding them all day, I would read another article online about how children who aren’t carried through infancy will have more emotional problems and the guilt would come down like a ton of baby books on my head.
I struggled with this for my first year of being a mother and one day I realized that it didn’t matter. My boys were going to be fine. I’m not the perfect mother and I’m ok with that. We need to accept where we are as parents and not buy into the guilt that we aren’t good enough.
Parent coaching isn’t out there to make you a perfect parent, because what you are doing is already good enough. We are just here to support you as you are and keep your head above water.
Parenting is rough and we need to support each other as much as we can.