How do we get our kids to do chores? Should we even make them do chores? Do we pay them and how much? Help!
I can help you through the maze of chores and allowance and actually it is very simple, it will make your life easier and it will help you raise competent, respectful and responsible children!
When and how do you start chores and allowance?
Anytime after the age of five is a good time to start. Six years old and seven years old are also good times to start. If you haven’t started by age 7, then start right away! I like to start them on a birthday because it is a clear signal they are getting older and more mature. But you can also start them anytime of the year.
You want to start allowance at the same time as chores but do not connect them. They start at the same time because they are both signs of becoming more responsible and becoming a more contributing member of the family. But the kids are not paid to do chores just as no one pays me to go to the grocery store and make dinner; It’s something I do to keep the family running. Their chores are the same. They do them since they are part of the family and we all do our part. They get paid allowance no matter what (for instance, if you are on vacation and no chores are done, they still get an allowance).
What chores do you have your kids do?
Search the web for appropriate chores for the ages of your children. You pick several of them that work for your family and then give that list to your kids and have them pick a couple of the ones that they are most interested in doing. Each year as they get older, add one chore to the list. Some of the chores will be daily like making their bed and some will be weekly like vacuuming.
What if they don’t want to do their chores?
This will happen and there is a very easy solution. Since everyone in the family does chores to take care of the family and keep the household running, you just offer to do the chore for them and then they can do one of your chores.
This is how it plays out:
Can you please sort the utensils?
Ewww do I have to?!?
Yes I need you to sort them.
But I don’t want to!!
Ok, Sounds good. I’ll sort the utensils for you and then you can make dinner for me.
They will say ok because they don’t actually believe that you are going to make them make dinner. Then when dinner time comes around and they say that they are hungry and you are sitting on the couch reading a magazine, you remind them that you already did your chore and now they need to make dinner. When they throw a fit, work with them as to what they can make- toast, cereal, sandwiches, quesadilla. Whatever they can do by themselves and then that will be what everyone eats for dinner. It is a very clear reminder on how everyone contributes to the family.
How much do you pay allowance?
There are many websites that discuss the amount and you can choose what is best for your family but the majority of the sites say that half your age is a good weekly amount. So a 5 year old starting with allowance would get $2.50 per week.
Many people also recommend starting a long term savings and a donation percent as well with 10% to savings and 10% to donation. That would be one quarter to each and the rest ($2.00) goes to the child to spend however they see fit. The long term savings goes to an account that they don’t touch. Then each year, the amount goes up slightly.
Can you ever pay for chores?
Of course! If there is a huge chore or something that you would pay for anyway (like if you take your car to the carwash, you could pay your kids to wash your car instead) then you can definitely pay for chores. Don’t pay for ones that keep the house running like emptying the dishwasher. But a popular paid chore in my house is cleaning the guest room. It doesn’t really matter if it is cleaned or not but I will pay to have my kids clean it. My husband likes to pay for helping fix tools, sorting nails and other things that aren’t necessary but are really nice to have done.
