take care

This is your new mantra:

‘We take care of each other.’

This isn’t just for parents with more than one child because parents of only children can benefit from this phrase as well.

Wondering how to keep your kids from hitting each other?

We take care of each other

Wondering how to get your child to help with the dishes?

We take care of each other

Wondering how to have less squabbling?

We take care of each other

So here it is in practice:

It’s morning. Your kids ask what papa is making for breakfast. “Papa’s taking good care of us and making eggs and toast for breakfast”.  As you are getting ready for work and they need your attention you say, “I can’t right now because I’m getting ready for work. I work so that I can take care of you and provide food for all of us.” Your child goes over to pet the cat, “You take such good care of Felix.” Then one child grabs another child’s toy. “Uh oh, did you want a turn with the toy? Let’s take good care of each other and ask for the toy instead of grabbing it. Say, ‘Can I have a turn after you?'”

So on and so forth.

Why would we do this?

Families are units.

Families are important.

Families take care of each other.

If we keep this as a mantra, then the children realize that their siblings aren’t their worst enemies, but rather someone on whom they can rely. 

What you hear becomes your inner voice.  When children hear that they are a valuable part of a unit or a pod, then they feel more secure and become more responsible.

So then this translates into chores and keeping the house nice. 

Children should never be paid for chores (chores and allowance can start at the same time, but one is not dependent on the other). Children do chores for the same reason adults do chores.  To take care of each other.  My husband helps with the laundry so that we all have clean clothes.  He is taking care of us.  I make dinner so that we are all taken care of.  My children bring in a bag of groceries from the car because we all take care of each other. 

What do you do when your child grumbles? “I don’t wanna” or even just “NO!”

Bring it back around to taking care of each other, and say, “I would love to put away the utensils for you and then you can make dinner for me.”  They will end up choosing the easier job (until they don’t!!!) and then you get them to make dinner for you.  I would be lying if I said I never had toast for dinner.  

Because toast is what they made.

Nate-s-Remodel-144

I am amazed at how many support groups and resources there are for Boulder Parents.  Each day, I come across a new one.  

Here is my list so far, and I’m sure there are others that I haven’t found.

Check them all out and then let me know if there’s one I forgot!

The Joy Collective A Boulder gem with everything for birth, post-partum and parenting

Moxie Moms They offer discounts on everything in town!

Boulder Rockin’ Moms A group of Boulder moms that talk about anything and everything.

Boulder Meet-Up Groups Find a group of moms with similar interests for social activities.

Boulder Families A weekly update of things to do in Boulder

Parent Engagement Network A resource for Boulder parents to help their kids succeed in school and beyond

Jeff and Paige Great local children’s band with music all about the outdoors

Raising Little Heroes  A children’s volunteering group here in Boulder

Bundle Baby Shop This is the one stop shop for cloth diapering.  They will help you with everything.

Boulder County Kids A resource for everything kid-related in Boulder plus information on child care. 


That’s the list for now.

 Let me know if I forgot anyone!

Boulder Twin Family

Ask any teacher about which families regularly attend parent workshops and they will always say, “the ones that don’t need to.”  
It could be said (and often is said) that the irony of these parent workshops is that the families who need the information the least are the most likely to attend.  But there isn’t any irony here because the families who attend are ones who regularly seek help and are open to suggestions.
Unfortunately, the families who don’t attend are often the ones where the children could use a little bit more support.  
During my years of teaching, I would have parents who had a lot of knowledge in child development; perhaps they worked at a school as well, or they were a pediatrician, or even fellow teachers.  But just as often, these parents had unruly, poor-mannered, or disagreeable children.  As a teacher, I spent years trying to figure out why so that I wouldn’t fall into the same traps.
What I finally realized (maybe after having my own kids) was that a lot of these “in-the-know” parents didn’t seek help for their children and made simple mistakes that another set of eyes could have prevented.  
No one is perfect and it really does take a village to raise a child.
 
I myself often seek help from other experts to see a situation from another point of view.  Before I started this, I had to ask myself, “How can I help parents, when I often need help myself?” and it was that very questions that made me realize that this work is even more important than I previously thought.   We need to support each other and not be afraid to seek help.
 
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