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2May

It’s not that you lost your s#%t, it is about how you can calm down

Posted by: Suzy Burger Categories: Behavior Positive Parenting
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lost

Perhaps some people will disagree with me since learning to live a more mindful life is to not lose your stuff all the time (which is partially true), but if you have young children, I don’t know how you can get through a day without either you or them losing their s*$t.

So in my life, it isn’t about whether you lose you s#%t, it is about how you can calm down afterwards.

Part of our job as parents is to teach children how to control their emotions.  Toddlers can lose their stuff over just about anything.  We often think that we have failed when our children lose their s#*$&, but we haven’t; it is totally normal.  Our job isn’t to keep them from going off the deep end, it is teaching them how to come back.

As parents. we too, are often pushed to the emotional edge with our toddlers and we need to practice working on our own emotions.   Lots of parents practice “not-yelling” at their children and although I succeed at not-yelling the majority of the time, there are times when I lose it and I yell.  Loud.

That’s OK.  Just like it is OK for your little one to go off.

This is a great teaching moment for everyone.  Once you lose it, how do you calm down?

Do you:

  • Leave the room?
  • Take some deep breaths?
  • Ask for a hug?
  • Go outside for a minute?
  • Go for a walk?

These are all acceptable ways to deal with losing your s#$t and it is perfectly acceptable to talk about it with your children.  In fact, it is encouraged that you process what happened to you with your children so that they can learn how to deal with their s%$t.

This is how children learn to calm down, by watching their parents lose their s#$t and then calming down themselves and talking about it afterwards.

“I was pretty upset this morning wasn’t I?” (This is you talking to your toddler not the other way around, although wouldn’t that be pretty awesome?!?)

“I felt overwhelmed by all the things that needed to happen in a pretty short amount of time and I got upset and I yelled.”

“But then, once we were all in the car, I took some deep breaths and I was able to calm down.”

This is part of the problem solving process, identifying the problem (I lost it) and then finding solutions (taking some time, breathing deeply, getting a hug).  This is also part of the process of self-care.  Acknowledging that it is OK to lose it and then taking steps to bring your emotions back into balance.

We can’t expect our children to not get upset and we can’t expect ourselves to never get upset.  So when it does happen, it is really important that we have the tools to be able to calm down and that we can pass those tools on to our children.

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14Apr

Creating a mindful childhood in a busy world

Posted by: Suzy Burger Categories: Behavior Positive Parenting Unplugging
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mindful 1

If you are like me and have visited Pinterest for great parenting ideas, you have probably had the same impression I did, that children should be busy or entertained with activities pretty much all the time.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I love to have fun activities with my kids but I also think it is super important for children to have absolutely nothing.

In other countries around the world, children don’t have many toys, they don’t have scheduled sports or art workshops, they don’t even have activities planned by their parents.  And when I watch little kids sitting on a bus, or waiting somewhere, they don’t need to be entertained, they just sit.

We spend a huge amount of our adult lives trying to slow down our minds.  We do yoga, we meditate, we go on vacation and amazingly, children already have that ability to do nothing and often well-meaning parents erase that important skill.

And yet, every time I go onto Pinterest, I see at least 10 pins for “How to keep your toddler busy during road trips” (or  waiting in line, or on an airplane, during quiet time, or sitting at a restaurant, etc).

Here’s the thing, I understand.

I have twin toddlers and it’s not like they want to sit still for all of these activities.  But if you don’t offer any kind of toy or screen or distraction, you eventually teach them how to “be” in a world without distractions.  They can already calm their minds.  They can already be aware of their surroundings and soon (SOON!) they will just be able to sit and watch the world around them or entertain themselves.

Just like what we are striving for as adults.  The ability to just sit and quiet our mind.  We have so many opportunities for that all day long.  Waiting at a red light.  Standing in line at the bank.   Sitting at a restaurant waiting for a friend to arrive.  These are times when we can just sit and quiet our minds and yet these are the times that we feel we need to “entertain” ourselves and pull out our phones.

So if one of your goals is to quiet your own mind and find awareness in the daily moment, then allow your child to do that as well.  Let them sit in the car on the way up to the mountains with nothing but conversation.  Allow them to watch the people in the restaurant without a distraction.  Bring an emergency toy on the airplane but have it be a goal to use only the environment and surroundings as your toys and see if you don’t even need it.  Let them play for an entire snow day without one planned activity.

In my head, I am thinking:

All of this sounds good and all, but the reason that we distract children is to keep them from fussing and tantruming.  If I don’t distract them when they are losing it, then I will lose it too.

Yep, so the shift here isn’t to not distract them, it is to distract them with their surroundings, rather than with objects.  This is how to build a mindful childhood.

So what does that look like?

When you are at the doctor’s office, walk around and look at the art that they have on the wall.

When you are on the airplane, play with the buttons on the seat, walk up and down the aisle if they let you, look out the window if you have a window seat and talk about the clouds.

When you are in the car, look for different things out the window.

All of this can be exhausting, super exhausting if you are doing it for hours.  But here’s the thing (and every teacher knows this) if you put in more work now (exhausting work when you are already exhausted) then you (and especially your children) will reap the benefits later.

Your child already has the skills to be aware of their surrounding, and we as adults are constantly working towards that type of mindfulness and being in the moment, so resist the urge to distract your child with a thing and give them the gift of a lifetime!

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6Apr

Sibling rivalry and how to help your kids get along

Posted by: Suzy Burger Categories: Behavior Positive Parenting Siblings
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sibling rivalry

If you are expecting another child or you already have multiple children, then you have two wishes for them: to be good friends and to not fight all the time.

Good luck.   However, there are several things you can do to facilitate a great relationship between them and fewer headaches for you.  The most important technique (and maybe the most overlooked) is to not pit them against each other.  You want to build them up as a team.   This can happen several ways:

Don’t ask them who did what

This is so common and it make sense, you want to know what happened when you walked out of the room for 5 minutes and now they are both upset and presumably, one of them is to blame and we need to know who.  But what this does is immediately asks one to get the other into trouble.  It immediately asks them to rat on the other and make everything worse.  You watched Breaking Bad right?  Ratting somebody out isn’t a good thing and certainly doesn’t gain points with anyone.  So when you walk in on siblings who are crying, wrestling, upset, etc., ask, “What is the problem?  How can we solve it?”  This way you are working towards a solution rather than stuck on blame.  And you know who was to blame? (probably both of them…or hunger, or tiredness)

Constantly talk about how they are so good to each other

Even if they aren’t.  This is the magic of positive thinking.  If they believe that they are great siblings, then they will be great siblings.  If you catch either one do anything for the other then talk about how they are taking such good care of their sibling.  Let them over hear you say to another adult how they are great siblings and always look out for the other one.  They will absorb that information like a sponge.

Help them problem solve

This is just an extended version of the first tip.  They are going to have opposing viewpoints, ideas and thoughts on just about everything.  One wants to go to the park and the other one wants to go to the pool.  One wants pizza for dinner and the other wants steak.  It takes a bit longer and it can be exhausting to talk them through problem solving but the benefit of having them work it out themselves before too long is SO worth it!

Let me break it down:

Child a: I want pizza!

Child b: No I want steak!!

You: OK, we have a problem, what is the problem? (Identifying the problem is the first step to them solving it on their own- if they can’t identify the problem they get stuck in you vs. me.  At first they will need lots of support in identifying the problem but will be able to do it by themselves after a while)

Child a: We want different things for dinner.

You: OK, what are some solutions?

Child b: We can have steak this time and pizza next time.

Child a: NO! That’s not a good solution!  I want pizza! We have pizza this time and steak next time!

You: Either of those solutions might work, or I have another solution: we can have neither and have grilled cheese instead.

(Other solutions depending on your parenting style can be that each makes their own dinner, go out to dinner so that they can get their own, have neither, have both, etc.   Be creative!)

Don’t force them to share when taking turns is more appropriate

Children feel resentful of siblings when they feel like the sibling is taking their stuff.  So be sure to never use the term “share” as a reason to give another child a toy.  There should be a handful of things that belong to only one child and can only be used by that one child.  Examples of these might be a lovey, a super special toy, or things that only fit a certain child like a bike.  The other child never gets to play with that one or two things.  Every thing else may “belong” to one child but can be used by all or belong to the whole family (like books, balls, dolls, trucks or blocks).  If it isn’t the special toy, then turns can be taken.  This doesn’t mean that a child has to give up a toy, just that the other child gets a turn when the first child is finished using it.

Enjoy them for their differences

Last but not least, your children will likely be complete opposites from each other.  This may mean that one of them is more like you and one of them is not like you at all.  Embrace those differences and don’t try to fight them.  I often find that spending time with the child who is less like me can be an eye-opening experience and I learn so much.   Also don’t comment on how you would like one to be more like the other.  For instance, if you are a clean freak and so is one child but the other one isn’t, refrain from saying, “Why can’t you help clean up like child A?”  Or if you love to go biking but only one child has that same drive then be sure to hold yourself back and not say, “Why don’t you like biking? Child B loves it!”  When you embrace their differences rather than point them out and get frustrated, they will embrace their differences as well!

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7Mar

“I just need a hug” works for both kids and adults

Posted by: Suzy Burger Categories: Behavior Positive Parenting
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Brotherly love 1

Sometimes in life, we are just feeling a bit off.  Often we know why- a bad day at work, car broke down, didn’t sleep well the night before; and sometimes we have no idea why we aren’t feeling that great.  Sometimes it is just a “wrong-side-of-the-bed type of day.”

This happens for kids and for adults and it is important to remember that sometimes we just need a hug.

This past week I was feeling sick and I was very grumpy.  It meant a lot of fussiness in the house from me and by example from my kids.  So I was reminding myself daily to sometimes stop the grumpiness by hugging.  No one was doing anything they shouldn’t, it was just a whiny week.

My husband was also there to just give me a hug.  He made me tea at night and we got through the grumpy week all in one piece.  Then he got sick this week and I forgot where I put my patience.

I realized this morning when everyone in the house was grumpy again that sometimes we just need a hug.  There wasn’t anything specific causing the gripes (other than maybe the full moon) and so it felt like the grumpiness was unfounded and shouldn’t be there.  But it was. And all we needed was a hug.

Patience and love for our kids and patience and love for the adults in our lives.  Sometimes we just need a hug.

 

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4Mar

“Sorry” is not a catch-all word

Posted by: Suzy Burger Categories: Behavior Positive Parenting Siblings
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sorry 1

All children make mistakes.  It is a part of growing up.  A parent’s job is to teach children about making mistakes and what that means.

Sometimes children get angry and lash out; it too is part of growing up.  A parent’s job is also to work with children and their emotions and help them manage what they are feeling.

Even though I hear parents saying, “Say ‘You’re sorry!'”  to their kids all the time, sorry is not a catch-all word that works with both of these situations.

When “sorry” works:

If a child makes a mistake, or accidentally does something like drops something breakable, bumps into someone, or spills their drink, then they probably are remorseful and “sorry” is an appropriate response.  So teach your children to say sorry when they have accidentally done something wrong.

When “sorry” doesn’t work:

When a child gets angry or frustrated and acts out by pushing another child, or hitting their parent, or pinching their friend, it is highly unlikely that they are remorseful.  They are angry and they are acting out in their anger.  Teaching them to say “sorry” in this situation, teaches them that “sorry” solves the problem.

But “sorry” didn’t solve the problem, the other child or person has been hurt and your child probably still feels angry.  This is the time for parents to teach children about emotions and problem solving.

First: Help the child or children calm down.  (This is something that can be taught when the child is calm and then reinforced when they are angry, but that is another post) Look them in the eye and then talk about taking deep breaths and then take a deep breath with them. This will begin the process and allow the child to start problem solving.

Second: Talk about the problem: what happened? And ask all of the people involved.

Third: Find a solution.  The adult can offer some solutions (I like to offer really unattractive solutions like “How about we put the toy away since it is causing problems?  That’s one solution” ) and then the children can come up with solutions.  After a few ideas have been offered, a solution can be chosen.

If your child later feels bad about the whole situation, they can then apologize to the hurt party.  But sometimes I see children who want a toy, hit the other child to get the toy, and then say “sorry” as they walk away with it only because they have been taught to say “sorry” after every transgression.

This way takes a little bit longer but it teaches children emotional regulation, empathy and problem solving which could possibly be three of the most important life skills we need.

 

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28Jan

Two things you should never do during a tantrum (and what to do instead…)

Posted by: Suzy Burger Categories: Behavior Positive Parenting
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tantrum1

I talk a lot about tantrums, mostly because they are the center of toddler-hood, but also because they cause a lot of unwanted stress.

So here are two things to never do during a tantrum:

1) Give in.

2) Get mad.

Most likely in your journey as a parent, you are going to do both, but you should do differently starting tomorrow and here is why:

1) Don’t give in.  You child is looking to see where the wall is.  Where the limit is.  As soon as you give in, he has to keep looking.   This is very hard on children and very hard on parents.

For example, your toddler wants the crusts off his sandwich.  In the midst of cutting off the crusts, you cut the sandwich in half which is what he usually likes.  You give him the sandwich.

Toddler: “NOOO!!” Tears start streaming, face turns red.  “Put the sandwich back together!!!!”

You (not giving in): “I’m sorry, I thought that was how you liked it.”

Toddler (potentially throwing the sandwich, hopefully not): “NOOooo!! Put it back together!!”

At this point, you could give in and make him another sandwich.  It would diffuse this situation, but it would only create future situations where your child has to learn what the limit it.  DO NOT GIVE IN. Do not make another sandwich.   Your child can either eat the sandwich you made or not eat the lunch.  

I realize that you want to make another sandwich.  You don’t want the tantrum and the new sandwich will calm everything down.  But if you do give in, then your child has to test the limits again later and will have to see if it is OK to tantrum about something else. 

Don’t give in!

You (still not giving in): “So sorry, but sandwiches don’t go back together.  Do you want to eat or are you all done?”

2) Don’t get mad.  Again, your child is looking to you to see what is ok and what is not ok.  Is it ok to start screaming about sandwiches?  If you start screaming too, then the answer is “Yes.”  If you remain calm then the answer is “No.”

Toddler: “NOOO!!” Tears start streaming, face turns red.  “Put the sandwich back together!!!!”

You (remaining calm): “So sorry about the sandwich, do you want to eat it or are you all done?”

You are going to want to say, “What?!? Are you effing ridiculous? You always want me to cut it up and now you want me to put it back together?!?!?”

Toddler: “No no no no no. put it back. put it back. put it back. put it back.  put it back TOGETHERRRRRRRR!” 

You (remaining calm):  “Are you all done then?”  

You are going to want to say, “If I hear one more word out of you, you are going straight to time out!!”

But if you escalate the situation, two things happen, 1) your child doesn’t learn any skills to calm down and 2) that he can get a lot of attention out of one sandwich and that if he escalates more, then you will as well.  Empathy and calmness will shut the tantrum down (not immediately, but much more quickly).

What to do instead?

Just shut down the whole tantrum by saying “I’m sorry, but no”.

So, instead of giving in, hold strong and say, “I’m sorry, but no”.

And instead of getting mad, say, “I’m sorry, but no”.

I’m sorry, but no.

 

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30Oct

Have you heard about this- change your child’s behavior today!

Posted by: Suzy Burger Categories: Behavior Positive Parenting
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This article in the New York Times has been out for a couple of days but it really took me a while to read it because I know that mindset affects age.

Everyone knows that.

If you think you are younger, you’ll feel a little bit younger.  

What if Age is Nothing but a Mind-Set?


But the results in some of the studies in this article are mind blowing!  You can lose weight, be younger, be happier just by changing one word in your vocabulary.

But one thing they don’t mention is children and I think it is even more poignant how children can change through perspective.

Imagine– if adults can physically lose weight just from believing that they are healthier, what would happen to your child’s behavior if they thought they were great kids.

Here’s a scenario (imagined only after you read the whole article): You are at a friend’s house and a mom with a toddler walks in and says, “Oh man, Let me sit down a second before my son starts tearing up the whole house and breaking things.”

And within five minutes, he is running around and trying to get things to throw.

Here’s scenario number two: The same friend’s house, and the same mother walks in with her toddler and the friend says, “Should I get these things out of your way so that he can’t reach them?” And the mom responds, “No, he is very respectful and your things will be fine.”  And even if in five minutes the toddler starts to reach for something (which he probably won’t), the mom can remind him, “no touching, that’s not ours”.

In the first scenario, the mom is setting her child up for poor behavior, however in the second scenario, the same mom is setting up the same child for success!

What if Age is Nothing but a Mind-Set?

I have twins boys so just about everywhere I go, I hear, “Are they twins?  Wow, they must be a handful!”  

Can you imagine?  All my boys’ life they have been hearing that they are a handful which is a really nice way to say that they are difficult.   

But get this, I always respond, “A handful of love!“

So for their three long years, they have been hearing about how they are full of love every time they meet a stranger.

You can change your child’s behavior by changing the words you use around them, to describe them, and when you ask them to do things.

This isn’t about praise, I’m not telling you to start telling your children that they are smart, or that their picture is beautiful.  I’ll talk about praise another day, this is about changing one or two words in how you describe your child to other people and how you set their course and give them the perspective that they are good kids!

boulderchildwhisperer.com

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2May

Are you a strict parent?

Posted by: Suzy Burger Categories: Behavior Positive Parenting
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strict1

I have found myself having this conversation a lot lately and noticing that there are different ideas and descriptions of whether a parent is “strict” or not.

Are you a strict parent?

In the past, the term “strict” generally referred to parents who used such parenting techniques as spanking, isolation, yelling and punitive punishment.  

Because of this, a lot of parents who don’t want to use those techniques have turned to more permissive parenting thinking that if they are doing the opposite of “strict” then they will have a happier, more loving family and therefore, happier, more loving children.

But what we have realized over the years, is that permissive parenting doesn’t necessarily create happier children.   We have a generation of entitled children who don’t believe that there are rules to live by, because no rules were imposed on them when they were children. 

I hear a lot of backlash of the permissive parenting movement with people saying that if they could only spank their children, then we would all be a lot better off.

But the key word here is “strict” and not spanking.

These days “strict” can be synonymous with “consistent“.   It can be very loving.  It can be empathetic, but it needs to follow through. 

The argument that someone is strict because they are harsh is outdated and the argument that children don’t thrive in strict households is also outdated. 

Strict is loving.

Strict doesn’t have to be harsh.

Strict can involve kisses and ‘I love you’ as you give the consequence. 

Strict isn’t wobbly.

Strict is firm.

Strict is comforting for children.

Strict is unwavering.  It is always there. 

Are you a strict parent?

 

This article is © Copyright – All rights reserved http://boulderchildwhisperer.com

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10Feb

Insecurity breeds misbehavior

Posted by: Suzy Burger Categories: Behavior Positive Parenting
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insecurity

Children misbehave because they don’t feel secure.

Children don’t feel secure for two reasons:

1) They don’t know what is expected of them

2) There is a big change in their life

I know I’m simplifying a lot, but with all of the information out there, sometimes it is helpful to simplify.  But I also know that there are often a lot of other factors contributing to behavior so when looking at your child’s behavior, start here, and if this doesn’t work, then look into other factors.  

When parents contact me about their children’s behavior, I start asking questions.  Pretty soon one of two things pops up: 1) there isn’t a routine or outlined expectations 2) there was recently a big change.

The first one- expectations- is very easy to control.  In fact, it is our job as parents to control.  How does it look? First, create a good routine. That means doing the same things in the morning before you head out for the day or the same things before the children go to bed. It means creating the routine with your partner and your children (if they are old enough) and writing it down.  One family was trying to nail down a bedtime routine and they got it all worked out with the father doing the majority of the routine when the father said, “But what about the nights that I’m home late?”  and I asked them, “How often is that?”  “Almost every night.”  We had spent all that time working on the ideal bedtime routine and it wasn’t even possible for most nights. Make a routine that works for you every single night- even if it isn’t perfect.  

Once you have a routine set and followed, you will find that many behaviors disappear. But not all of them. And that is why you need to be constantly outlining behaviors ahead of time.

Before you walk into the restaurant, discuss the behaviors you want to see.  Then make sure that everyone is on the same page if those behaviors aren’t present (such as one child sits in the car with an adult, or your child won’t get a special book before bed).  Before you go to the store, discuss the behaviors you want to see and what will happen if you don’t see them.  Constantly be outlining what your expectations are.

2) There is a big change in their life.

This one seems really obvious because anyone with a huge change in their life will need some time for adjustment. But what isn’t obvious is that what seems like a little change to us, is a huge change for the child since their lives are so small.

So what constitutes a big change?  Just about anything.  Daylight saving time is a big change.  Illness is a big change.  Moving, new school, new sibling, new caregivers, new diets are all big changes.  

So what can you do if practically everything is considered a big change to a little kid?  

1) Don’t fret too much about it

2) Set yourselves up with a good routine so that they can weather the changes.  

I like to put this in a adult’s perspective so that it makes more sense:

 

Let’s say that you have a 9 to 5 job and every day you go in to work at 9 am, and everyday you head home at 5 pm.  Pretty awesome right?  You can tell your daycare provider when you will be there to pick up your kids, you can make happy hour plans with your friends a week in advance, and you feel secure and comfortable in your day.  Then one day, your boss walks in at 2 pm and says, “Hey, I need you to stay until 9 pm tonight.”  You are pretty flexible and say, “Yeah, that isn’t ideal, but I can do it.”  because you know that the next day, you will be able to leave at 5 pm again.  You are able to change your routine simply because you know that you have a routine to go back to. 

Now let’s say that you have a job that starts most days at 8 am but sometimes you don’t go in to work until 10 am and sometimes your boss lets you leave at 2 pm but sometimes you have to stay until 8 pm and you never really know if it’s going to be a short day or a long day.  It is somewhat stressful because sometimes you can pick up your children, but sometimes your husband has to do it and how to remember it all is such a headache.  When your friends ask if you all want to go out for pizza you have to remember which night will be an earlier night but then it might change so you really don’t know.  Without a routine- it is stressful!  Then one day you boss walks in and says, “Hey, I need you to stay until 9 pm tonight”.  You will probably say yes because you want to keep your job, but how will you feel about it?  You will feel less secure because you don’t really know if you are going to have another late night the next night, or that maybe 9 pm is your new routine.  It is really hard to weather a big change without a routine because you don’t have anything to settle back in to. 
In the first situation, you know that after one really long day you will go back to a normal schedule, but in the second situation you don’t have a normal schedule so when you have one really long day, it isn’t clear if you will continue to have really long days and that is an unpleasant feeling.

It is the same for children.  If they have a consistent schedule and routine, they can have a big change to the schedule without much fuss.  But if they don’t even have a routine, then a big change can be very upsetting and they will show that through their behavior.

Setting up a routine should be super easy, but it’s not. It is hard to look at both what is best for children and what works for the whole family.  Contact Boulder Child Whisperer if you need help creating a useful routine for your family.

This article is © Copyright – All rights reserved http://boulderchildwhisperer.com

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28Jan

Now you are a parent- how do you fit it all in? (And enjoy some of the things you used to do?)

Posted by: Suzy Burger Categories: Parental Support Positive Parenting
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routines

One of the most important tools that you can use to help your children with sleeping, eating, behavior, etc. is setting up a routine.  I know that schedules aren’t for everyone and if it doesn’t work for your family then it just doesn’t work.  But if you are on the fence about making a routine and schedule for your children, but are afraid that the schedules will soon rule you, then hear this:

 
Schedules give you freedom.
 
Picture this:  your family wakes up whenever and sometimes you have breakfast before you leave for the day, but sometimes you don’t.  Dinner could be anywhere from 6:00 pm to 8:00 pm and bedtime is never the same.   

Because of this, you can be out late with your kids one night and then plop them into bed early another night.  This sounds great and like I said, and for some people it works.  But a lot of those late nights end up with the children screaming and fighting.  Then the nights that you try to get them to bed early (because they are exhausted) end up as power struggles (please one more show, just another book, I’m not tired yet, pleeeeaaase)
 
Then your whole family goes on vacation and it is in a different time zone and neither you nor your children have any idea when you should eat or sleep.  And your week long vacation turns into the week long tantrum fest.
 
But…

If you have a schedule and a routine for your children, then neither you nor your children are guessing what is next, and you don’t have to struggle with difficult behavior or tantrums which often makes it difficult to go out or to travel.   

If dinner is always around 6 pm and bedtime is always around 7:30, (or whatever time works for you) then you can have many nights out and come home and your child goes straight to bed.  If you want to go out later, then one of the spouses can leave without having to worry about power struggles at home, or you can bring the children out every once in a while and it won’t affect their routine at all.  A good rule of thumb is stick to the routine about 90% of the time and you can totally throw the routine out the window 10% of the time without any ill effects. 
 
Then when your whole family goes on vacation on the other side of the world, you can easily move your route back or forwards a couple of hours and BAM, right back on schedule with no problems at all.  It makes traveling a dream, and something that you’ll want to do and be able to do all the time.  
 
When children have a routine and know what to expect, they don’t need to lash out and misbehave in order to make sense of their world.   So setting up a routine will actually allow you to do more things and give more freedom to your life.

Don’t be afraid that setting up a steady routine will be the end of your social life and having fun, in fact, it is exactly the opposite.  So if you are thinking about how you can get out more, or how you can do that trip that you have been thinking about for the last year; start today with a good schedule and before you know it, your life with kids will be more exciting and fun than before kids!!
 
If you have more questions and are wondering what kind of schedule might work for you, contact us today!
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